I would have wished to die too. In this month - on the 23rd - I have been ill for six months, since it was June 23 when I began to die and I still cannot walk. I will never be able to return to the mountains, nor take refuge in the forests. In addition to being lame, invalid, I have aged ten years.
20 de Dic de 1948
Querido Heny:
Hasta ahora pude leer tu carta de 23 de junio, porque hasta ahora permitió el médico que me dieran mi correspondencia atrasada. Siento mucho la muerte de tu padre, sobre todo por tu mamá.
Yo hubiera deseado morir también. En este mes - el día 23 - cumplo seis meses de estar enferma, pues fue el 23 de junio cuando empecé a agonizar y todavía no puedo caminar. Ya nunca podré volver a las montañas, ni refugiarme en los bosques. Además de quedar coja, inválida, he envejecido diez años.
En medio de todo este sufrimiento me queda el recuerdo grato y hondo de nuestra amistad y para consolarme evoco momentos tan felices como aquéllas en que reunidos Wally, tu y yo, conversábamos y, discutíamos, momentos felices en los que tenía fe en mi misma, en aquella resistencia física que tan grandes satisfacciones me producía.
Deseo que tus planes de "trotamundos" resulten bien y que Wally encuentre pronto a la esposa que desea. A Marie y a Caroline dales mis saludos, y para ti, mis mejores pensamientos.
Esperanza
Dec 20, 1948
Dear Heny:
I was only now able to read your letter of June 23, because only now the doctor allowed them to give me my back mail. I am very sorry for the death of your father, especially for your mother.
I would have wished to die too. In this month - on the 23rd - I have been ill for six months, since it was June 23 when I began to die and I still cannot walk. I will never be able to return to the mountains, nor take refuge in the forests. In addition to being lame, invalid, I have aged ten years.
In the midst of all this suffering I have the pleasant and deep memory of our friendship and to console myself I evoke happy moments such as those in which Wally, you and I, together, talked and discussed, happy moments in which I had faith in myself, in that physical resistance that gave me so much satisfaction.
I wish your "globetrotting" plans turn out well and that Wally soon finds the wife he wants. To Marie and Caroline give my regards, and to you my best thoughts.
Esperanza
